Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Q.O.D. Can you love someone before you meet them?

This question comes from Alisse in Baltimore, MD.

"Dear Curvy Confidence,

I have been talking to someone I met on a dating site for about a month now.  We talk for hours every day, extensive text message conversations, face time dates, chat on yahoo messenger and facebook.  We have a great chemistry and I think I have fallen in love with this man.  The only problem, we haven't actually met yet.  He is on deployment with the military and won't return home until February of 2014.  Is it possible that I can love this person without actually having met him face to face?

Thank you - Alisse, Baltimore, MD.

Alisse, I think that it's great that you have found someone online that seems to give you the time and attention that makes you happy.  I love that you have great chemistry too.  I have to be devil's advocate in this scenario unfortunately.  The problem with online dating is that people can be anyone they want to be without having a responsibility to truth.  What I mean by that is when you meet someone in person, although they too can be lying, at least you see first hand how they act, how they treat you and physically show how they genuinely feel 

I have been a victim of a man who used online dating as a way to suffice his time while deployed and once he returned stateside, found out he had a family already.  I am pretty sure his wife was unaware of our online romance and I was totally crushed.  Although I didn't think I loved this guy, I was making plans to meet him, move with him and ultimately begin my life with him once he came home. 

This may NOT be the case for you.  Your guy could be 100% genuine and you just got lucky.  I don't think it's possible to be fully in love with someone you haven't met, I believe you are in love with the idea of being with him.  He could very well be just the guy for you, but only time will tell.  Slow down, enjoy how he makes you feel and keep your eyes wide open for TRUTH.  Once he makes it home and shows you that he is everything he has presented himself to be, at that time you can reassess how you feel and determine if it's truly love.

I wish you the best of luck in your situation! 

Thank you - Curvy Confidence

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