Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Make Up review from E.L.F, Milani, LoL products from Wal-Mart

I love this brush!  I had been looking for a good mineral powder foundation brush that didn't have a lot of spillage and has good, even distribution.  I couldn't afford the Mac version, and VERY pleased with this cheaper version available by clinking the link above.  

Red lipstick is REAL hard to find in a shade that works JUST right.  I had bought a whole bunch of dollar store brands, but none of them seemed to work.  I got this on sale with a coupon and love not only the color, but the long lasting effect it creates.  I hate having to reapply it over and over again.  

Putting on foundation can be a tricky task, especially when you have areas that need it more than others.  I saw a brush similar to this on a video tutorial and found it online at high end stores for $30.  I got this for under $10, and LOVE the way it blends my foundation.  Great, inexpensive find.

Here is the results.  You can judge for yourself.

Monday, December 16, 2013

Never too old for Footie Pajamas!

While on a hunt for warm pajamas here in Pennsylvania, of course my first and last stop was the all favorite Wal-Mart!  It's quite difficult to find plus sizes and when I saw they carried not only the larger sizes, but my favorite characters I HAD TO HAVE IT!  I chose the Minnie Mouse since it was pink, and one of my favorites from when I was a kid.  It was the only one in my size also so I grabbed it and couldn't wait to get them on.  

As seen above, they fit and they look adorable!  They are comfortable and VERY warm!  I love them!!  You can get yours below!

Friday, December 6, 2013

Friday Fashion

I love leggings, wedges and a cute sweater dress although this is being worn as a shirt due to the cold weather.  I tried to wear a waist belt with it, but didn't like the way it looked so I left it bare.  Threw on a hair bow and some jewelry and that completed my Friday Fashion!  

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Winter Fashion

I have become quite the fan of stripes.  In this fashionable ensemble, I've put together a compilation of a sweater, scarf, hat and jeans.  A casual look that shows off my curves but still keeps me warm.

The make up is made up of a pink bottom base eyeshadow, and a chocolate brown crease shadow.  Foundation is Mary Kay Mineral Powder.  

I REALLY love the Mary Kay mineral foundation.  It feels so light on my face and has a flawless effect!  It's cheaper than the foundation I was using previously, the Mac Studio-Tech which runs $25 average, plus the powder another $20.  With the mineral foundation from Mary Kay, you don't need both. You use less, the coverage is amazing and the feeling doesn't give you that clogged pore feeling.  

To order this mineral foundation, visit ShayMaryKay.com 

One of the hardest days of my life.... and a monumental event in my life

I try to give my blog a flavor of reality and true insight into me, the person behind the persona.  With this blog I will be open, and share some of my deepest thoughts and feelings.  I don't even know where to begin but to add this disclosure of "this isn't a cry for sympathy or attention."  There is no intention with this blog, but to share a personal piece of me and maybe reach out to someone who has experienced something similar and just know that you are not alone.

One of the most difficult days of my entire life was  June 26, 2002. I got the call about 5:30 am, I was deep in slumber as I had to get up for work in a couple of hours.  At the time I was a bill collector at a Jacksonville, FL third party collection agency.  I answered the phone to find my sister hysterical crying saying to come over immediately, that my nephew had passed in his sleep.  My heart stopped beating and I was stuck in what seemed like an eternity of the inability to breath.  What?  What do you MEAN he stopped breathing?  

Obviously I was going to have a hard time talking to her, as she was distraught and unable to stop crying so I did what a sister is supposed to do, packed up my sleeping kids in the car and raced over.  All I could do is cry for the entire 15 minute drive and when I arrived the ambulance was parked in front of the house.  My brother-in-law had my sister in his arms and she was curled in a fetal position balling so hard she was nearly convulsing.  I think this was one of the weakest moments of my life, as I had NO idea had to console my sister.  I didn't know how to keep myself together.  

The shock of his passing lingered and as my family began to gather at my sister's house in efforts to mourn his loss, and begin preparations for his viewing and funeral.  My mom came and was, the saddest I had ever seen her.  It was heart wrenching for myself, but even more so seeing the strongest woman I've ever known broken down and falling apart in front of me.

My mom was a single mom raising 2 girls.  Me, the mouthy, strong minded and VERY big personality and my sister who struggled her whole life being in my shadow.  We never really got along, but it was one of those situations where no one could mess with her but me.  If anyone tried to fight her, hurt her or do her wrong, her big sissy came to her rescue and wasn't afraid of anyone or anything.  No matter where our relationship was at the time of this call, I was going to be right at her side because that's what we do as family.  My mom did a fabulous job raising us, and she RARELY showed a lot of emotion in front of us so to see her in this state broke my heart.  
There came a moment when I realized that someone was going to have to step up, be strong and do the impossible, and I knew it had to be me.  I had to make the arrangements to lay my beautiful nephew to final rest and iron out the details of his viewing and burial.  I dried up the tears, put on my big girl panties and made all the final decisions to insure he had a beautiful memorial and a peaceful place to rest.  I have NO idea how I managed to make it through, but I did.  

The next step was to call family members and inform people we hadn't been in touch with or on good terms with, about the news and give them information about the funeral.  A touchy relationship was with my father, and surprisingly he came.  It was bitter sweet for me.  This was the first time I had seen him in quite a long time, and the first and only time he'd meet his grandson.  Watching my father play with him, and his restored relationship with his granddaughter gave me hope that he'd be a more active part of our lives.  Unfortunately, I was wrong.  But that's another blog.  

What I failed to mention previously, is that my nephew was special needs being in a nearly fatal car accident at the age of 18months and having cerebral palsy.  We had a bond that was unbreakable, and not even in death could that be torn apart.  I miss him dearly, but know that he is in a better place.  (wiping my tears writing this and thinking of some of our most special moments)  

I share this with you, because THIS is a part of who I am, and this event is part of why I will ALWAYS fight for what I believe in and who I am.  When he was alive, he forced me to look at myself and appreciate what I was so blessed to have.  He loved me unconditionally, because he didn't know how not to.  Remembering him forces me to realize that my dreams are still VERY much alive and never to stop reaching for them.

Thank you for taking this time to read, a piece into me.  

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Love your FAT!!

These photos are to represent the love I have for my body, my curves and my body fat.  I could let my over-weight condition keep me from enjoying life, however, I've chosen to embrace my fate and enjoy my life.  Does this mean I am going to avoid efforts to be healthier?  No.  Am I going to live healthier by not obsessing about losing weight?  Yes.  Will I allow others to judge me and attempt to insult me with fraudulent concern for my size and health?  No.  

Loving my body and accepting this is who I am is not a "coping" method.  It's simply realizing that even thin, fit people are unhealthy with mental anguish, lack of self esteem, and internal self abuse with constant obsessing over their weight and appearance.  Being fat isn't the worst thing that could happen to me, although MANY people in our world believe that it is.  Sadly, that in itself is a form of self abuse.  

People that are healthy are at risk of getting cancer, diabetes and other fatal conditions.  It annoys me that people automatically assume that you are unhealthy based on your size.  Do a lot of obese people have diabetes?  Yes.  But, diabetes runs in my family and they are ALL height and weight proportionate.  

I am confident and secure, and this is something that even some of the most physically fit, outwardly beautiful and attractive people lack. I am PROUD of who I am, every pound, every fat roll, every curve.  I can only hope that others can see that happiness doesn't lie behind a perfect number, but within by self acceptance and love.  

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Q.O.D. Can you love someone before you meet them?

This question comes from Alisse in Baltimore, MD.

"Dear Curvy Confidence,

I have been talking to someone I met on a dating site for about a month now.  We talk for hours every day, extensive text message conversations, face time dates, chat on yahoo messenger and facebook.  We have a great chemistry and I think I have fallen in love with this man.  The only problem, we haven't actually met yet.  He is on deployment with the military and won't return home until February of 2014.  Is it possible that I can love this person without actually having met him face to face?

Thank you - Alisse, Baltimore, MD.

Alisse, I think that it's great that you have found someone online that seems to give you the time and attention that makes you happy.  I love that you have great chemistry too.  I have to be devil's advocate in this scenario unfortunately.  The problem with online dating is that people can be anyone they want to be without having a responsibility to truth.  What I mean by that is when you meet someone in person, although they too can be lying, at least you see first hand how they act, how they treat you and physically show how they genuinely feel 

I have been a victim of a man who used online dating as a way to suffice his time while deployed and once he returned stateside, found out he had a family already.  I am pretty sure his wife was unaware of our online romance and I was totally crushed.  Although I didn't think I loved this guy, I was making plans to meet him, move with him and ultimately begin my life with him once he came home. 

This may NOT be the case for you.  Your guy could be 100% genuine and you just got lucky.  I don't think it's possible to be fully in love with someone you haven't met, I believe you are in love with the idea of being with him.  He could very well be just the guy for you, but only time will tell.  Slow down, enjoy how he makes you feel and keep your eyes wide open for TRUTH.  Once he makes it home and shows you that he is everything he has presented himself to be, at that time you can reassess how you feel and determine if it's truly love.

I wish you the best of luck in your situation! 

Thank you - Curvy Confidence

Monday, November 4, 2013


It's no secret that I am a HUGE fan of the red lipstick, especially with my new found "Rockabilly" look that I've learned to love and sporting quite often now.  It's also a common problem to find the right red for you... as some are orange based, others blue based and each has a different effect when applied on your lips.  I stumbled across this, and when I tried it out... found my new favorite red lip gloss. 

For a long time, I've been wearing the Milani brand and wouldn't have traded it for the world.   Not until the Mary Kay brand RockNRed found me and gave me just the shade of red I have been looking for.  You can order this now by going to ShayMaryKay.com.  If you are in the Jacksonville FL area, schedule your FREE facial and get a Mary Kay makeover by emailing shaylanicole@marykay.com 

Q.O.D. - is meeting someone at 11pm a bootycall?

The question box is exploding with such a diverse variety of questions!  I am excited to see all these thought provoking inquiries and look forward to answering them all as best I can. 

This question has a double edged sword, so let's get more details with the full question before answering. 

  Kelly 22 yr old female from Sarasota, FL asks, "I recently joined an online dating site and have been talking to a guy I find extremely attractive and thus far been quite compatible with for about a week.  He has now asked me to meet him for drinks, but doesn't get off of work until 10pm.  He asked me to meet him at a bar at 11pm on a weekday and I am not sure if this is an attempt at a bootycall or just convenient for his work schedule.   Is this considered bootycall hours or is it classy to accommodate his after hour schedule?"

Initially, I'd say the fact that you questioned it off hand indicates you may have the answer already.  There are a few things I find wrong with this scenario. 

A)  A gentleman NEVER asks to meet at a BAR on a first meet. 
B)  He should be asking to accommodate YOUR schedule as well, and 11pm is NOT safe for a woman to be meeting someone she doesn't know.
C)  First dates should NEVER be at a bar. 
D)  11pm is ok with someone you KNOW, comfortable with and trust.  NOT someone you are just meeting for the first time.

My advice is this:

Set boundaries and apply standards for your online dating progress.  For instance, set goals for when you give out your number, set up a meet and plan a real date.  I personally don't like giving out my number to every "fish" out there, because they tend to be bothersome and needy.  My private number is reserved for those I feel deserve it, and have spent enough time getting to know me online.  I need a REAL connection to divulge those digits. 

Secondly, meeting is something that develops as a result of an even stronger connection.  Although it is "harmless" so to speak to meet in a public place just to get to know someone, it's still RISKY.  Aside from that, my time is VERY limited and the last thing I want to do is waste even an hour with someone I am not even sure can hold an intelligent conversation.  Once you give up that hour, you can't get it back. 

Ultimately, YOU set the guidelines for your timeline of events and do what makes YOU comfortable.  I simply share MINE as an example.  Be careful!  Online dating can be dangerous and be observant of your surroundings at all times.  Here are some tips for meeting someone for the very first time.

1.  Tell a friend or family member EVERYTHING out the person you are meeting INCLUDING a link to their profile. 
2.  NEVER meet someone who hasn't given you photos or provided some sort of contact information.
3.  Tell a friend or family member ALL the details about your date. 
4.  If you don't feel comfortable meeting, don't go. 
5.  NEVER leave your intended destination without alerting someone of your new location or whereabouts.  Someone should ALWAYS know where you are.  I usually check in on facebook so that it is PUBLIC and has an address as to my exact location. 
6.  NEVER leave your drink unattended.  Date rape is still something to be aware of and happens more often than you think.  A drink left unattended is a drink at risk of being poisoned and could be the last one you take. 
7.  NEVER bring them back to your home or give exact location details about where you live.  If things don't work out, you want to feel safe in your home and not have to worry about whether they will stalk you or show up unannounced.  Protect your safety, and your dwelling.  It's easier to protect it than it is to move.
8.  Park near a light and keep your keys where you can get to them quickly. 
9.  KNOW your environment and be well aware of an escape plan if something was to initiate and you need to leave quickly.  I usually circle areas a couple of times before parking to make sure I am aware of EXACTLY how I got there and how I will get out. 
10.  Safety first.  A gentleman will understand the need for you to protect yourself.  Anyone who is uncomfortable with you doing so, sets off alarms immediately.  PAY ATTENTION TO RED FLAGS. 
11.  Do NOT go to his home or a private or secluded location.  Public places that you either KNOW someone or know will be heavily crowded are best. 

I hate to set fear into you, but I think being aware is definitely more beneficial than to simply offer trust to those undeserving and potentially put yourself at risk. 

It's better to be safe, than sorry. 

Is 11pm a bootycall?  I believe it is definitely not a good time to meet someone for the first time. 

Hope that answers your question Kelly! 

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Casual wear for lightly brisk weather

I firmly believe that you can be confident at any size.  Seen here, I am 263 having lost a total of 22 lbs naturally,  Actually, stress was the cause of my sudden and rapid weight loss having undergone major life changes without notice and totally dramatic.  Nonetheless, whether I am 263 or 363, I am beautiful, curvy and confident. 
In this outfit, I take a pair of Wal-Mart capri leggings in a salmon color, a thin sweater top and polo boots.  An easy outfit that shows off my curves and gently cover as it was slightly brisk outside.  I was totally going for the comfy look too! 
You can purchase these leggings by clicking HERE
For the boots, although they may not be on the site anymore since they were purchased a couple of years ago, they were purchased from FAMOUS FOOTWEAR

Thursday, October 24, 2013

You are a GRANDMA? Why, yes I am a GRAMMY!

It seems that many people are shocked to hear that I am old enough to have grown children and even more so that I am the grandmother of 2 beautiful babies.  It's TRUE!  Quite honestly, I couldn't be happier about it either. 
I am 38 with a daughter who is 21 and a son age 17.  My granddaughter, LiLi will be 3 in February and my grandson is newborn just turned 1 month.  They are by far the most beautiful babies in the world but of course I am biased. 
At first, the news of my daughter's pregnancy came as a shock and I was immensely disappointed.  Not only was she young, unmarried and still finishing school, but the father of her child was as a mystery to us.  Apparently, she had been having a grown relationship with him behind my back for some time.  I wasn't sure how to handle having such a life changing event in what was already chaotic disfunction between her and I.
It took a couple of months to swallow the pill of reality that this was going to happen whether I liked it or not, and soon I would warm up to the fact that I was going to be a young grandmother just like I made my mom at age 17 and the same for her.  For generations, we've been young mothers and look how we turned out lol.  I learned to embrace my young grammy status and ran with it.
Of course, once that beautiful baby took her first breath and I looked in her eyes, I was totally in love!  How could you not love such an innocent and beautiful little girl?  I knew then she was going to have me wrapped around her finger and have my heart forever.  The same thing happened when I met my grandson just a couple of days ago.  These kids deserve all the love in the world, and I will for sure make sure they get it.
So how did I deal with it?  It's REALLY simple.  LIFE happens and you have to take things as they come.  My granddaughter was the mending source of my relationship with my daughter.  Prior to her birth, we couldn't get along and had major communication problems that made our relationship extremely unhealthy.  I realized that I would much rather accept that this was uncontrollable and I didn't want to miss out on their lives because I refuse to accept what was far too late to change. 
Having a relationship with my kids is necessary, and that includes their children.  If you are struggling with the idea or reality of becoming a grandparent, take into consideration what would be worse?  Dealing with the inevitable, or alienating your family simply because of your inability to deal with life?  It's NOT worth having your child go through the blessing of bringing a life into the world without you, the most important person in their life!  Swallow your pride, forget what others may think and just be the support system and loving person a grandmother/father is supposed to be! 
It takes a village to raise a child, but it takes a mother to love a child like no other.